Category Archives: Me

Happy 2013

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It’s a *brand new* New Year, and how I love that feeling of being able to write a new number one fine day :) .

For several reasons, 2012 has been a tough year for me, and at the end of it, the most profound realization I carry with me is that nothing in this world can bring me as much happiness as being with and Being ME.

It’s what Kareena says in Jab We Met.

“Main apni Favorite Hoon”

It’s a lovely line, right? :) .

Everyone should be their own favorites. And if they aren’t, they should figure out how to get there. And do whatever it takes. After all, YOU’re the only person you spend every moment of your life with!

I’ve spent years on this journey, and it’s not easy. Every day is a new experience. There are new thoughts to distil, new discoveries about myself (not always pleasant :P ), and choices to make – not necessarily with enough time to allow you to reflect and choose. And then there are consequences.

As 2012 comes to a close, I realize that there are a few realizations that have helped me make peace with this process and move forward:
~ Negative emotions – fear, anger, sorrow, guilt, regret, helplessness – can make you experience a lesser person than you really are, but can never make you that.
~ Patience is not a virtue, it is a muscle. Exercise it intentionally, and keep it supple. When all fails, patience and the knowledge that time erodes even the biggest mountains – that’s what is going to keep you ticking.
~ Change – yours, and of others – is always voluntary. There is merit in trying to attempt change and being a trigger for change, but… BUT… You need to know when to try, and you need to know when to stop.
~ In the midst of all the evolution and choices and complications of life – it helps to maintain a stock of a few key aspects about yourself that you consider as the Essence of You. Could be anything… something you consider a core value that you live by, or maybe something about yourself that gives you a high… as long as it is what identifies you to you. Every once in a while, take out one of those aspects, have a good long ponder over it, mentally polishing and lovingly going over the feeling of that as you. If it is possible, find new ways to explore the aspect and to engage the energies that it generates inside of you.

I did something such, a few days ago as I was trying out (yet. another. social. networking. platform.) Pinterest. It occurred to me that creating a Board was a fun way to explore and unravel something that I consider an aspect of myself… and what better than a visual reminder?

An aspect of me (that I love) is my ability to evoke a sensual pleasure in everything in the world – touch, feel, sound, taste, see, breathe, and experience. (ahem, I also scored a 93% on the Sensuality test, so there. *cheeky grin*).

As I thought about topics for my board, there was a resonance when I thought “sensuality” and it took me a few hours to put together a board that was my kind – Here it is:

The process of searching for the right images and compiling this was great because it wasn’t just about being the Me that I know about, but about Remembering the me that I am.

The outcome was even better because I realize now that dormant energies that are awakened and directed towards your SELF – it reinforces you from within. And that, my friends, is Power.

So, on that powerful note, let me wish all of you a Wonderful Year of Self-Belief, Contentment, Discoveries and most of all, Happiness from being your own favorite :) . Happy New Year!!!

2013

Dreams that come true

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Have you ever had dreams – and I mean, aspirations here – come true?

Have you been passionate about something so much, that there wasn’t anything that could come in your way of getting it?

Have you achieved this something and felt – not exhilaration – but a strange sense of calm and satisfaction at the thought that it’s all worked out to be how you’d imagined it?

Well, I have.

TWELVE years after having first read about it and having a glimmer of a desire appear in my heart - I’m finally finishing PGSEM from IIMB.

* * * * *

If you ask me, I don’t still know what about it appealed to me - that one morning in 1999, as I sat reading in The Indian Express, Cochin, about a new course offered by IIMB for software professionals.

Perhaps, it was the thought that it was management for “software” industry people – and I fancied myself to be always a mix of both. Perhaps because it was from IIM, in Bangalore – the only IIM, I thought was ever worth studying in. Perhaps because it was a part-time course, and I knew I was *aching* to work after graduation, so I would never opt for a full-time course.

Whatever it was, it was a dream. And dreams do comes true, I realize.

Poetically ;) , I would say that the universe conspired to bring it all to a reality. I landed up in Bangalore for my first job, I found that though I loved working in the industry, I still sustained my desire for the MBA experience. My parents for their part, thought I was loony :-) . (Sample this: Why, just why, would you want to spend the first 3 years of marriage – supposed to be the best years in a relationship - putting yourself and said spouse, in intense pressure? Do you even realize you’ll have to spend ALL your weekends for THREE years, attending lectures in college? How would you handle work – esp. because you have to spend half a day on Fridays, IN class - and then spend the rest of your week worrying about what you’re supposed to do on Friday and Saturday? What about the travel that you’re supposed to do as part of your work ? And last but not least – just HOW are you going to be able to come to Kerala or go for any trips?). Can’t blame them, yes?

However, as all parents are – they did end with that one line: “If it matters to you so much, well, best of luck”. And for my luck, I passed the exam, and the interview, and got a call in 2008.

The past 3 years has been incredible – looking back, an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. Nothing that I imagined about it would come close to what it was really like though. PGSEM has always been about the extremes – as every PGSEM-er will vouch: Intense pleasure and intense pain :D . But above all, for me, it’s been a journey – a  re-discovery of myself.

* * * * *

Very soon, there will be a moment, where my past and future will converge: A moment when a thought that was born 12 years ago will come face to face with its realization: the day that I get my graduation certificate – a piece of paper, that will be a testimonal for the learning, the effort, the friends made, and the time spent over the last 3 years.

*My* universe will be smiling at that moment :) .

Dreams do come true, Corolla, United States
Source: TravelPod

What’s going on in my life

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This is one of those “I feel extremely guilty for not updating my blog, AND I have tons of stuff I would like to talk about, but strangely, I want to pass it off with an extremely frivolous post” posts. However, don’t you dare exercise your choice to move on to someone else’s more interesting blog. I’m trying very hard to make this worth your while :| .

Ok, so let me get around to answering the question that the title poses: what’s up with me? (how much ever vain that sounds).

  • For starters, I have just 6 more months of MBA to go. (*Does a hop, a skip and a triple somersault*). Yay! I’m almost close to the finishing line, and that means that 6 months down the lane, I shall
    • have Saturdays and Sundays when I can *actually* sleep in and not be dragged to the insti at 7.30 a.m.
    • stop feeling guilty of watching movies even though I still watch them by the bucketloads
    • have months and months of not having to worry about project submissions, upcoming deadlines, primary & secondary research, quiz scores, and reading up 30 page cases before class.

[If you aren't yet saying tch tch, and shaking your head, and sympathizing with me right now, I'm sending some really cold vibes your way.. *glares*]

  • I’m off of Facebook for a while. Yeah, I do log in, but I’m not so keen on updating status messages and having lots of people *like* it, then having to explain myself, send messages to long lost friends, find long lost friends (heck, if I haven’t found them already after 4 yrs of orkut + FB, then they are not probably worth finding out), or find how many lost cows someone’s got on their farm, or how many cakes they’ve baked, or the result to “what kind of shoe are you” that they’ve posted on their profile. Yes, people are sending me mails saying “what happened to you? I no longer see your status messages. Are you ok?”, which I’m not responding to either. I don’t know; this is probably a phase of some kind, and I may get over it soon, and come back and post the rest of my life on FB for all and sundry out there to read. For now, I’ve freezed off though and I’m enjoying the sabbatical. Even if my school and college(s) and work and kindergarten and … whatever kind of friends, aunties, cousins, colleagues,  and other strange relationships think that I’m in a bad phase in my relationship and that’s why I’m not on FB :P .
  • I’m on twitter much more regularly though. Infact, ooomz officially declared that I was afflicted with Tweet-diarrhoea! Which, if you don’t know about ooomz (who’s my mentor into twitter ;) and one of the first from my circle to adopt twitter, fondle it and kiss it each day), is saying something. Also, given the fact that I’ve been on twitter since December 2006, and yet have just 1883 tweets as of today, to show for it. Which in twitterville means I’m still a baby (enfant terrible?). However, to show you just *what* the change in my twitter user persona has really meant, I’ll put in here a picture. My tweet stats (from tweetstats.com):

My Tweet Stats

As you can see, August, September have been months of frenzied updates and don’t you dare compare my one month’s graph to the past 4 *years*. Of course, you may ask why I’m suddenly so inspired to be on twitter? Well, for one, on my iPhone (*cough, cough*), I uploaded the Twitter app, and its just amazing. I love it. Better than Twitterific, and better than Tweetdeck. Infact, miles better.

The other reason why I’ve gone from verbal diarrhoea to blog diarrhoea to tweet diarrhoea – well, I think I’m in that slope towards maturity, in the lifecycle of growth of a twitter user. I’ve finally figured out what I must tweet about, how frequently I can tweet and who I should follow, and all those really technical, psychological stuff that entails being on twitter (don’t ask me to explain it – reams have been written on twitter behavioural analysis already). This particular enlightenment on my twitter persona deserves another bullet point, so here goes:

  • Ok, so now that you know I’m this really great big phenomenon on Twitter, I switch tracks onto yet other happenings in my ultra-cool life. Do you know I write for S*P*A*M? Yeah, I do. I’m one of those really secretive characters masquerading behind an avatar and all, just so that no one can throw rotten tomatoes at me because they can’t FIND me in there (*evil laughter*). Ok, I’m kidding. Sorry. Actually, I am writing under an avatar but only because I found that a pretty cool concept (don’t ask me who I am though ;) ). There are also other VERY smart and funny men and women behind SPAM, and I’m proud to be a part of such a fun group :) . Pls. grace us with your presence. We have two issues (August and September) under our belt, and the next one will be out in October. Read the articles, and comment away.

Alright. I think that I’ve now posted enough and more mundane details about my life and therefore, I can rest in peace. Sleep satisfied in the knowledge that my blog no longer looks deserted, and that I am STILL, despite the tweeting, and the non-fb-ing, and the mba-ing, and the spamming, a blogger.

Amen.

You are SPAMMED!

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Yes, folks. SPAM is no longer a cuss word. It stands for all things wacky, hopeless, absurd, and a bunch of bloggers who’re doing selfless service AND making sure you get entertained each month and forget what it is like to live life adult-size!! SPAM, now stands for (……..*drumroll*……..)

Society for the Preservation of Absurdity and Madness

Please wipe off that quizzical expression of yours – THIS is what I’m talking about!!

S*P*A*M has hit the blogosphere this August, it’s an e-zine written by some very funny people, and our first edition is out online – for free!  Catch all the action at http://spamazine.com.

Yeah, yeah, I know. We’re hot. We’re good , wholesome , rollicking fun. The adulation is pouring in ;-) but we’re always happy to see more of you tell us how awesome we are. So please come over to S*P*A*M, comment liberally, and bookmark us, because you’re going to want to be SPAMMED in September too!

Beautiful Blogger!

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An award comes with a lot of responsibility, doesn’t it?

Well several ages ago, Lazy Pineapple demonstrated her kindness of heart by giving me …*gasps*, …the

and weighed by her kindness, I thought I’d wait till I was able to do justice to the award – and finally, I’m able to do this NOW.

LP, I’m touched. Thank you very much! :)

Now, the best thing about this award is that it comes with a tag. And as you know, tags are just my favorite things :) , so here goes. Rules:

1) Thank the person who gave you the award.
2) Paste the award on your blog.
3) Link to the person who nominated you for the award.
4) Share 7 things you find to be beautiful around you.
5) Nominate 7 bloggers or more

Okay, so I’ve done 1, 2, 3. Now, for 4:

  • Rain. Fresh, brilliant, pure drops of ecstasy. The rain experience is particularly exquisite in the balmy monsoons of Kerala (*sigh*..let me try not to remind myself that I’m missing that just now!).  Standing in the rain, absorbing the sensation on every pore of your body, letting it consume you…

  • Nostalgia. For the last one month, I’ve added scores of 80s and 90s songs in my iPod. Searched high and low, and thought back to all those days when I studied with the radio or the walkman on and listened to songs playing in my dad’s car. Gone back to every composer I could think of, and searched wikipedia extensively for the songs that I couldn’t remember anymore. And then, once I had them all on the pod, every day, as I travel to and from office, I listen to them. Can anything beat nostalgia? ;)

  • Paris. What’s more beautiful than rain? Champs Elysees in the rain, that’s what! Paris, is the one city that I would want to go to again and again and again. There’s just something about the place… romantic, sensuous and mysterious. Three years ago, I had my experience of Paris in the rain and it is something I cannot forget. It drizzled lightly as I walked on Champs Elysees in the evening, and the breathtaking beauty was something I wish I could have captured in my camera, as well as the picture below. I remember, as I stood admiring the Notre Dame Cathedral from the outside, heavy sheets of rain came down abruptly, and I ran and took refuge next to a shop, only to realize I was standing next to a guy making french crepes. A little conversation in broken English later, I had him happily hand over warm, flaky, deliciously sweet crepes to me – and eat them, even as the warmth from his stove gave me comfort in the cold — talk about paradise!

  • Reunions. A few days ago, I met friends from college. After 10 years! It was a spot reunion, blessed by the hand of the Facebook God, which has ensured that people like me who’re generally terrible at keeping in touch, can still get to see picture, hear and connect with the people who mattered in life. My friends and I – we’d last met as 20 year olds, confused about our future career choices, carping about exams, and remembering 3 years of graduation that zipped past us even as we, a gang of 6, had stayed by each other’s sides throughout. Over the years, most of us have married, a few have had kids, and we’re in the thick of our (high profile ;) ) careers, careening past 30. But you know what? When we met, we just zoomed back in time to being the same 20 year olds. Nothing had changed. Not even the jokes, or the bitching about teachers :D . It was an hour of catching up and watching the way our faces had grown older but our hearts had stayed the same – and we all remembered how we’d fantasized 10 years ago about such a meeting. Hopefully, we don’t wait for 10 more years to meet :D . And meanwhile, this is something I’ll highly recommend to everyone!

  • Companionship. Having someone in life, to share your silences with. To march alongside you, holding your hands, and just letting you feel one with the world. To sit beside you, watching a movie, and munching on biscuits late in the night. To wake up beside you and give you a cuddle. To offer a shoulder where you can wipe your face and the tears running on it. Companionship is one of the wonderful gifts of life and needn’t come with having that special person in your life. If you know that you can spend hours being yourself with someone (or something ;) ) – then, well, let out a whoop of joy! You’ve got yourself a companion :) .

(P.S. The credit and copyright for the work of art above goes to the brilliantly talented Abhilash Menon. Find him and his work on India’s first portal that brings together Indian artists and showcases their incredible potential to the world – Dhonuk)

  • Dance. The way two feet can break into a rhythm, and the hands then follow, moving about the body, getting it to sway in tune with the music. Waves created in the air, sparkling about the dancer’s body. Re-telling stories, transcending languages and cultures, dance has the power to bring time to a standstill and transport viewers into sheer bliss. And to tell you how, here’s a picture of one of my favorite dancers and one of the most beautiful women in India – Shobhana:

  • Mothers. Today is my Mother’s birthday  - and she’s the first most beautiful thing I ever set my sights on. I love you mummy and Happy Birthday :) .

Alright, now for the last bit. It should have been 7 but I decided on 5  - tagging 5 beaaaautiful women :) – Judy, Andy, Dhanya, Sawani, and Anjali – I bestow this award to you!

Yay! I’m done!