Make life count

*Sigh*. What a wonderful feeling it is table to observe silence in your ears, interrupted only by faint squeaks of far away squirrels, or the occasional chirp of a bird on a tree nearby. Luxuries beyond definition.

When your day begins with the sound of your mobile alarm rudely awakening you from a deep slumber, accompanied by your involuntary groan at facing a new day of work, you know that life isn’t all it is made out to be.

Ambition is overrated in today’s world. From childhood, you’re taught to battle with life’s forces, stomp out your competition, push yourself to the extreme and prove to be the ultimate survivor. Ride a wave of glamour, glitz, fame, money and power. Reduce your hours of sleep, make each moment count and let the world huff and puff to keep up with your steep rise.

Even if it means that your head is constantly cluttered with useless information, almost making you think you’ve become a schizophrenic. And making you forget all of that which really matters. You eat food so fast that you’ve forgotten what makes any meal distinct – the taste doesn’t count anymore, does it? – only time does. The bags under your eyes, your constant respiratory ill health or the digestive tablets you pop by the dozen are all hidden from the glare of your followers. Somewhere a secluded doctor is privy to the depressing problems of your body combating with your lifestyle.

Take it easy, buddy. Life can wait. Time can wait. People can wait.

YOU matter. Your happiness matters.

And the realization that your happiness may not be what the world defines as happiness also matters. In the long run, yes, it will matter that you have survived. But it will also matter HOW you have survived.

Making today’s time count is important. Making your life count is more important. Don’t drive yourself up a wall where you’ve finally nowhere to go but straight down.

Wake up in the morning - tomorrow morning – and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself, “are you okay?” “Are you feeling good?”

Spend some moments to savour your feeling about yourself. Savour your realization that you want to make life easy and good for yourself. You want to make that effort. Only because you are the most important person in this world. To you.

And also because you will never be able to give to someone else, unless you have given to yourself. Your friends, your family, your spouse, your kids, your colleagues, your work, your boss – everyone is counting on you to keep yourself happy. Because if you are unhappy it will show up on all of them. If you have catered to your needs, you will be more willing to cater to theirs.

Ask yourself therefore: “what is my need?”

Do you yearn for time? Drop thoughts of your work and backlog – or maybe family pressures and commitments. Go, take a walk – somewhere where you can see and hear nature, possibly breath in fresh waves of air and feel your mind soar as your lungs expand. Don’t let thoughts clutter your mind. Occupy yourself with the present and your basic need to enjoy the moment.

Do you yearn for love? Go find it. Find it in the arms of a lover in your life, who’s ceased to occupy your formost thoughts - yes, there was love sometime in your life. Just that your drive for success has blocked that primal need too.

Or maybe you still don’t have a lover – if there is someone nearby who could fit the bill, go tell him or her how you feel. That takes quarter of the effort of having to keep your emotions bottled up within you.

And if you don’t have anyone at all, well, what the hell. Find friendship. Friendship eases even the most difficult of pains. Sob on the shoulder of a friend if you’re sad. Or better still, go get you and your friend large buckets of icecream. Crash on a sofa and watch your favourite comic movie. Healthy doses of laughter, and you’re left feeling fit and fine in a jiffy.

Connect with your emotional and physical selves. Hug your parents, and don’t say anything. Stop giving vent to the need the fill out verbal voids with nonsense. Ask your mother to rest her tired head on your lap, and gently let her know that you’re there for her. Place your hand on your father’s back, and soothe him silently - almost unconsciously.

Watch your little child play and let him/her/them use you like an amusement ride – climbing and running amok – nothing can gladden you like the pitter patter of tiny feet/hands – amidst of course, your groans of pleasurable pain. Take your teenage daughter/son out somewhere, where you both can connect – listen to him/her without judgement, and let them know that whatever goes wrong in their lives, you are there for them. Do you have a spouse who’s been with you for years, and you haven’t told them the magical three words lately? Say it now. And mean it. Marriage bonds two people in a way not even a blood relation can – it is the most precious of relationships. Make it count.

Make life count. Good day everybody

 

P.S. Want to know what I’m doing as I write all of this? I’m in a room, glittering with the light of the morning sun. The air is fresh, smelling of beautiful blossoms somewhere. Outside the window, squirrels hop along trees, and birds chirp their music. Occasionally, the sound of a train passing by, talks of people’s journeys. Journeys of life…

Lyrical Love - Part II

 

It’s nostalgia season now, since I’m briefly separated from the land I love. As I listen to songs at work, the sweet strains, bells and percussion of the music takes me into a land of my dreams… a world, a piece of which, I’d like to share with you all, right here, right now. As ever, my obsession is still Love.

So here’s another iteration of Lyrical Love. Enjoy!

1) Theeram ThedumoLam (Vandanam - Malayalam)

This is one of my ever-favorite songs in Malayalam. One that brings me visions of the green fields, the silvery green water in the ponds and the warmth of the traditional, Hindu ancestral homes in Kerala. Theeram thedumoLam is from the malayalam movie Vandanam, which is set in Bangalore. Strangely, my visions are quite different from those shown in the actual movie visuals - and yeah, I have a reason for the contradiction :).

The first time I heard the song, when I was in the 6th or so, was in Kerala during my summer vacations. The thrill of being in the beautiful natural environment, with my family around, coupled with adolescence and romance slowly creeping into my being, was like magic. I and my cousin sister (a year older than me) - more best friends than relatives - were in a world of our own… secrets, mystery, music and the first set of cupid’s arrows being pierced through our childlike hearts. Listening and humming the songs around, playing secret games with each other and discussing movies, our first crushes and our awakening to the beauty - of the world and people, around us.

Today when I hear this song, I still feel my heart tugging with the same emotions…Innocence is bliss, Love is divine.

Here is the lyrics of the song… sung by M. G. Sreekumar and Sujatha, written by Shibu Chakravarthy and set to tune by Ouseppachchan. Spare some time to listen to the song whenever possible.

[Chorus]
Dheem thana nana nana nagruthanithom,
Dhirana dhirana nana nagruthanithom.

[Male]
Theeram thedumoLam premageethangal thannu
EeNam cherthu njaan innonnu kaadhil paranju

[Female]
Ee raavil nee enne thottu thottunarthi
MinnumkuligaLil LaaLikkum
Njan oru chithra vipanjikayaay…

[Male]
Theeram…

[Paragraph]
[Female]
Pon thaazham poonkaavukaLil,
Thannaalaadum poongaatte,
Innaa thirayude thirumuttam
Thoothu thalikkaan nee varumo

[Male]
Mungi kuLi kazhinjeththiya pennin
Mudiyil choodaan poo tharumo…

[Female]
Aaa…

[Male]
Venn thaaram poo mizhi chimmi,
Mandam mandam maayumbol
Innee purayil poomanjam,
Ninne urakkaan njaan virikkum

[Female]
Swapnam kandoru poovirimaaRin,
Pushpathalaththiyil, njan urangum

[Male]
Aa….

[Female & Male]
Theeram…

2) Un Samayal Arayil (Dhill - Tamil)

This is a crazy song indeed :). When I heard it the first time, I wondered what the lyricist was thinking of… But over time, and with the proper translation of the lyrics, it occurred to me how much the simplest of lyrics can hit you in the softest spots :). See the lyrics below- I’ve given the translation alongwith each line, since it makes much more sense that way… The song is tuned beautifully by Vidyasagar, worded by Kabilan and sung by Unnikrishnan and Sujatha.

[Male]
Un samayal arayil, naan uppa sakkaraiya? (In your kitchen, am I the salt or the sugar?)

[Female]
Nee padikkum arayil, naan kangalaa pusthakamaa? (In your study, am I the eyes or the book?)

[Male]
Nee viraLkal enraal, naan nagama modirama? (If you are fingers, am I the nails or the ring?)

[Female]
Aaa, nee idalkal enraal, naan mutthama punnakayaa? (If you are lips, am I a kiss or a smile?)

[Male]
Nee azhagu enraal, naan kaviya oviyana? (If you are beauty, am I a poet or a sculptor?)

Un samayal arayil…

[Paragraph]

[Female]
Naan vekkam enraal, nee sivappa kannankala? (If I am shyness, are you the reddishness or the cheeks?)

[Male]
Naan theendal enraal, nee viralaa sparisangala? (If I am the touch, are you the fingers or the sensation of it?)

[Female]
Nee kuzhanthai enraal, naan thottilla thalaatta? (If you are a child, am I the cradle or the lullaby?)

[Male]
Nee thookkam enraal, naan madiya thalaiyana? (If you are sleep, am I the lap or a pillow?)

[Female]
Naan idhayam enraal, nee uyira thudi-thudippaa (If I am a heart, are you the life, or the heartbeat?)

Un samayal arayil…

[Male]
Nee vithaikal enraal, naan vEra viLainilamaa? (If you are seeds, am I the root or the fertile land?)

[Female]
Nee virunthu enraal, naan pasiya rusiya? (If you are a feast, am I hunger or taste?)

[Male]
Nee kaïdi enraal, naan siraiya dhandanaiya? (If you are a prisoner,am I the jail or the punishment?)

[Female]
Nee mozhigal enraal, naan tamizha osaigalaa? (If you are language, am I Tamil or the sound?)

[Male]
Nee puthuvai enraal, naan bharathiya bharathithasana? (If you are Puthuvai (Puducheri), am I Bharathi or Bharathidasan?)

Nee…

Nee thanimai enraal, naan thunaiya dooratthila? (If you are solitude, am I your company, or far away from you?)

[Female]
Nee thunaithaan enraal, naan pesava yosikkava? (If you are my company, should I speak or think?)

[Male]
Nee thirumbi ninraal, naan nikkava poyvidavaa? (If you have your back turned to me, should I stay or go away?)

[Female]
Aa…Nee pokiraay enraal, naan azhaikkava azhuthidavaa? (If you go away, should I call out to you, or cry?)

[Male]
Nee kadhal enraal naan sariya thavara? (In your (if you are) love, am I right are wrong?)

[Female]
Un valathu kayyil paththu viral (On your right hand, there are ten fingers)
En idathu kayyil paththu viral (On my left hand, there are ten fingers)

Dooraththu megham, thooralkal sintha,
Theertha mazhayil, thee kulippoo…

(The far-away clouds, start a drizzle
We will be immolate ourselves in the rain…)

3) Kya Mujhe Pyaar He (Woh Lamhe - Hindi)

One of the recent songs that have caught my fancy. Kya Mujhe Pyaar He from the movie Woh Lamhe, has two versions - a slow one and the remix: The slow version is the one to listen to, although the remix is pretty racy and can get your feet tapping, and your body breaking out into a jig. Pritam’s music, lyrics by Neelesh Misra and sung by Kay Kay. The slow song begins with guitar strings, a slow chorus and within a second, you’re caught, blinded, trapped. Kay Kay’s voice sounds like steel, cutting across your sensations with his unwavering rendition of “Kya mujhe pyaar he, aisa khumaar he”. I cannot desist from mentioning the the song is another of Pritam’s blatant lifts (of the track Tak Bisakah by the Indonesian rock band Peterpan), but its hard to ignore its wonderful music and worse :), its lyrics… Just the song to express the first sensations of love for a person. With this song, love is no longer a soft feather wafting across your face. It is like being under a waterfall, falling in sheets, pricking like needles, bringing with it, a cold thrill inside your body and soaring your senses to newer heights.

Read further for the lyrics. I will try to put up a translation when I have time, later.

Kyoon aaj kal, neend kam, khwaab zyaada hai
Lagtha khuda ka koi nEk iraada hai
Kal tha faqir aaj dil shehzaada hai
Lagtha khuda ka koi nEk iraada hai

Kya mujhe pyar hai… ya..
Aisa khumaar hai…                           (2)

[Paragraph]
Paththar ke in raston pe, phoolon ki ik chaadar hai
Jabse mile ho humko, badla har ik manzar hai

Dekho jahaan main neele neele aasmaan thale
Rang naye naye hain jaise ghulte hue
Soye se khwaab mere jaage tere waasthe
Tere khayaalon se hain bheege mere raasthe

Kya mujhe pyar hai… ya..
Aisa khumaar hai…                           (2)

[Paragraph]
Tum kyun chale aate ho, har roz in khwaabon main
Chupke se aa bhi jao ek din meri baahon main

Tere hi sapne andheron main ujaalon main
Koi nasha hai teri aankhon ke pyaalon main
Tu mere khwaabon main, jawaabon main, sawaalon main
Har din chura tumhe main laatha hoon khayaalon main

Kya mujhe pyar hai… ya..
Aisa khumaar hai…                           (2)

Simple Joys of Life

Ever wondered about those simple pleasures of life that you probably didn’t give much importance to, but contributed to making the experience of your life pleasant and wonderful?

Ever realized how sometimes, very trivial and at times, even funny, experiences or probably some routine things you do, turn out to be that which uplifts your mind and soul from the problems and worries of daily life?

Today I thought of listing some of those experiences that were important to me - the simple joys of my life. (And no, this isn’t a forward I received, but I vaguely remember receiving something similar a long time ago :)). Here they are in random order - coming directly out of my memory:

1. Enjoying the wind blowing in my face while travelling in an auto/bus - I deliberately remove the hairbands that keep my hair in place, because I love the sensation of the wind playing with my hair, and the strands dancing around
2. Seeing a child laugh. Infact, anything associated with a child is adorable, except for potty ;). Their laughter is the most uncomplicated thing in this universe.
3. Rain and all of its associated sensations.
4. Vanilla Icecream. I love the texture of icecream, and vanilla is my fav flavour.
5. Switching on the radio/to another radio channel, only to hear one of my favorite songs playing…
6. Listening to music on the walkman/mobile, and dancing like crazy at home. At times, when I walk into my home in the evening, after the trip in the office bus, the earphones are plugged in, and there’s this amazing dance number playing on radio, I just go shake, prance and groove all around the rooms of my house. Yeaaaah
7. Standing in a glass lift and peering through the glass with glee, while the lift moves up or down.
8. Throwing my head back and laughing heartily after hearing a joke/anything witty.
9. Hugging my cuddly n cute mum
10. Watching TV till late on a Friday night…Its my way of rebellion to compensate for the days I reluctantly drag myself into bed cos I have to go early to office.
11. Going for long walks with a dear friend
12. Taking a cool, refreshing bath (with sweet smelling soap) on a hot, sweltering, summer day.
13. Floating, neck deep in water. As a child, I loved floating in a tub full of warm water, with soap bubbles all around me. In recent times, a place I enjoyed being soaked and floating in water, was Hoganekkal… and with me, was my friend - we just lay neck deep in water for hours, bobbing up and down and feeling the waves of the water course through us. It was amazing.
14. The feeling of deja vu I get when I sense particular smells… I have always been able to associate many of my experiences, places and even people by smell - so much so that when I get a particular smell, I always have a sense of deja vu, and feel like I’ve been through it before.  It wasn’t till Balaji wrote about Synesthesia,that I realized what it may be :).
15. Getting in touch with a long lost friend
16. Cuddling in bed, wrapped in a blanket, on a cold wintry morning.
17. Shopping for accessories - mainly junk jewellery - I am a total junkie when it comes to stuff that hangs on my wrists and ears… bells, chains, stars, tinkling things, stones, metal…you name it. I love looking around for quirky looking stuff that matches with my clothes.
18. Discovering money (that’s been forgotten) in an old purse/jeans pocket. Ah! It makes me feel so rich in a moment :)…and sometimes, I purposely stash away some money somewhere for that experience of finding a treasure
19. Coming home to a warm, lovely meal with the family… in my case, its with mum and dad.
20. Getting a bouquet of red roses
21. Renting a video cd to watch on a lonely day
22. Solving a particularly difficult puzzle. To this day, I feel the same thrill when I solve a complex problem at work, or even sudoku in the paper, as I used to feel when I was solving math (mainly algebra) problems in school. Its wonderful.
23. Giving a compliment. I’m generally prone to blushing when I get a compliment - still don’t know how to deal with it :). However, I love giving compliments where they are needed. I’ve realized that it takes a very small effort to notice something extra special in a person. And contrary to popular thought, giving a compliment actually makes the giver feel much better than the one it is intended for… I think it brings about a connection between the humans: you feel appreciation/respect flowing out of it, and it is wonderful,… spiritually rejuvenating.
24. Reading the Sunday newspaper,whilst drinking a hot cup of delicious tea. Its my favorite activity on a Sunday morning, and one of the most relaxing ones. In fact, tea features in a couple of my other favorite activities, and I love drinking tea at odd hours… way into the night :).
25. Hearing an old song and being transported back into time. A lot of songs have that effect on me, and one I distinctly remember in terms of even the first time I heard the song, what I was doing, and what I felt, is Tere Dar Par Sanam from the movie Phir Teri Kahani Yaad Aayi. To this day, when I hear the violin piece at the start of the song, I get transported to my room in Dammam, Saudi Arabia - on a cold winter evening in my bedroom, looking outside the balcony adjoining the room, while listening to this song for the first time on my walkman.
26. The high of performing on stage. Dance is my passion.
27. Seeing ducks/swans/lotuses in ponds. Often, as I’m travelling on a train to Kerala, once the picturesque locales of the Kerala countryside appear in the train windows, it isn’t uncommon to see ponds filled with pink and white lotus flowers. I also get to see ducks and swans paddling peacefully in the ponds, and I always wonder what lovely looking birds they are… so fluffy and cute… and clumsy, like me :).
28. Going through old photo albums. Photo albums are the only way of holding time still. Which is why I like photography - because I think it is a way of bringing time to a stop and getting a slice of life in a picture… I have a lot of old family pictures at home, and in my school years, it was often a hobby (a very pleasing one at that :)) of mine to categorise the pictures and put them into different albums chronologically, or distinguished by the families they belonged to, or by events etc,to write labels for all the albums and arrange them neatly in a bag. Today, Flickr is the online equivalent of that for me.
29. Poring over book titles in a library/book store, anxiously reading their summaries, biting my nails and wondering which one to rent / buy. I love reading books and it gives me great pleasure to curl up on a bed/couch with one and spend an entire evening reading it and musing dazedly on its contents.
30. Watching my favorite TV shows - right now, its re-runs of Friends, Full House and Bigg Boss, to name a few.

Some list there, eh? I wasn’t planning on such a huge list when I started out, but as I started counting the pleasures of my life… one by one of them popped up on its own accord. Just goes to show that even though we may not know it, we would probably have many such wonderful things that make our lives so special, and make us blessed to be alive and kicking in this world!

Marginalization of women - Part I

 This is one topic I’ve been wanting to write about for a long time, and I don’t think I will be able to say everything I want to in just one post. The impetus, came from watching Oprah Winfrey’s talk show on “Marginalization of women”, aired on Star World (India) on 12th Nov night - let me start with a brief on the show:

The show featured Karrine Steffans (author of “Confessions of a Video Vixen”), Singer Pink (whose music video Stupid Girls actually inspired Oprah to have the topic discussed) and Ariel Levy, author of Female Chauvinist Pigs, and their discussions were centred around the changing perceptions of and about women in the US.

Karrine Steffans spoke about her experience as a dancer in high-profile music videos - she explained how such women were treated like mere objects on the sets, asked for sexual favors in return for video appearances, and exploited extensively so that the big-wigs in the music business could make big bucks selling them. The irony of it all was that the music videos exhibited the girls (such as herself) as sexually liberated, strong women who were in control of their lives while the truth was that they were all tottering on the edge of disaster - addicted to drugs/booze/sex and slaves to those who gave them work.

Singer Pink’s music video Stupid Girls rips apart the current teen celebrity icons such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson - blaming them for endorsing the concept of “Stupid Girls” who relentlessly starve themselves to fit into a size 0, do stupid things like making sex videos and wear raunchy clothes and compete for male attention. On the show, Pink clarified that she didn’t think these icons were really stupid - only that they projected this image because it sells… and with this, they were setting the ground for the millions of young girls who aped them, and believed that everything these women did was ‘cool’.

Ariel Levy criticised the raunchy culture that was making headway across the United States, where women believed that public display of themselves and their wares indicated sexual empowerment and liberation. She opined that men no longer need to be given the title of chauvinistic pigs, because the women were taking their place - playing into the stereotypes of sexuality (and encouraging it extensively) by being willing to be treated as mindless sex objects and stooping to any level to get attention.

Also on the show was a former recruiter for the Girls Gone Wild franchise - which made big bucks across America, making and selling videos of teenage girls who’d do any form of exposure and lewd acts for lure of 5 minutes of fame (and no, they weren’t even getting paid). The woman, whose job it was to encourage such girls to participate, found nothing wrong with it, because she believed that while she did encourage and cajole, the girls did the acts out of choice.

I don’t know if the programme was an eye-opener or any such sort for many, but for me, it was just a confirmation of some of the thoughts that have been going on in my mind for some time.

Female empowerment is a subject of many contrasts when it is applied to two diametrically different nations such as the US and India. Here in India, when we talk about empowering the women, we still have to talk about battling social evils such as dowry (where the bride’s family has to give substantial money/material goods to the groom’s family, for the marriage to take place), child marriage, prostitution, female infanticide and the like. Even though economic prosperity is slowly engulfing a part of the country, our enormous rural belts and their constant struggle for upliftment, ensure that in many parts of India, women still don’t get their basic needs addressed, and are victims in every sense.

However, putting aside all these for a moment, I had to wonder :  Are women in urban India also being marginalized?

Sitting in a posh corporate office, in Electronics City in India’s very own Silicon Valley, I can be excused for being shielded from the actual issues out there on the street, and especially, having outgrown my teen life 7 yrs ago, I don’t think I would be completely correct in my comments on the issues today’s urban teen girl faces in school/college.

Nevertheless, here are some pennies I’d like to throw out (and you can come up with your own surmises about why I’m mentioning them here :)):

1) The ideal of the ‘perfect woman’: Women are constantly attacked (and petrified) by this premise - that of the ‘perfect woman’ [the 'bharateeya nari']: The ultimate ideal that is bestowed upon only a chosen few possibly - the woman who is gorgeous, elegant, perfect in proportions, the envy of every man in the world, yet… (and now here comes the contradictions) ‘homely’, ‘God-fearing’ (hehe :)), an amazing cook, a passionate lover at times, a caring soothing mother-like-figure otherwise, exemplary mother to her children, social busybody, empathetic daughter-in-law, contributing effectively to making the home a paradise - clean n neat, perfectly maintained, her womanly touches evident in its decorative style (and complete with a smile on her face, waiting to receive her tired, distraught husband at the door when he comes back home from work), and yet, yet, yet… a Career Woman! Okay, so not maybe an important career (similar to what her hubby dearest is doing) but atleast something to keep her busy so that she won’t whine/nag at the end of the day. Voila! What a perfect brew… ain’t it? Yet, do you think I’m only exaggerating? I personally know many women, working hard to juggle work n home, left feeling incomplete about how they do not measure up to expectations. Not many of them can afford the luxury of doing the things they want to do, because they are so occupied trying to complete the lives of the ones around them.

2) The Jessica Lal murder case recently took a fresh twist when celebrated lawyer and politician Ram Jethmalani came to the fore, in defense of Manu Sharma (who allegedly shot Jessica for refusing him a drink, in a bar). While I don’t wish to go over the nitty-gritties of the case here in the post, what caught my attention was an information that Mr. Jethmalani introduced recently - probably as a tactic to divert attention from the case into a different direction. Mr. Jethmalani alleged that Jessica had not refused just a drink but that there was a sexual angle to the case, and that her morality was in question. What I found deplorable was not that Mr. Jethmalani had stooped to such a level, but that this is such a common tactic in a whole lot many of the cases that involve women. Its almost a strategy - “raise suspicions on the woman’s character, and zip up the mouths of her family/supporters”. Once the morality angle is brought about, you can ensure that public sympathy turns away from the woman, and all support for her fizzles out because people are then afraid to be associated with “the tainted one”.

BTW, if you are comforted in the thought that this maybe only for high-profile cases as Jessica’s, then think again - even the women/girls on the street (your wives, sisters, mothers, daughters) often suffer abuse silently, because if they were to raise objections, it would probably boomerang in the form of an attack on their own morality.

Jessica must be turning in her grave.

3) Urban India is getting chic. More so because of its very young, fresh mobile-cum-ipod-equipped teeny boppers in the schools, colleges and yes, the BPOs :). India has an abundant youth population, originating primarily from the vast middle-class (that gets part of the credit for India’s slow climb towards economic prosperity in the last decade) - and these youth are the country’s hope - the torchbearers, the pathbreakers, the innovators. And since education and employment are still the focal point of this group, we can rest for a while, since we need not have too many concerns about wayward teens, … atleast not yet.

However, some disturbing images have stuck to my mind in the past few years, and as I mull on them, I wonder if, down the lane, we’ll end up facing the same issues as what had been discussed on Oprah’s shows. Most of the disturbing images involve young girls - I see them in malls, theatres, MG/Brigade Road - and what strikes me about them is their overt willingness to please the guys hanging all around (and over) them. Most of these girls are young, just into their teens and by their looks, gullible. I’ve seen many put up the “stupid” act (even though in reality, they may be anything but that), and it appears to me that they are afraid of displaying their inherent intelligence for fear of being branded a “geek”, and having men running far away from them. Many of these girls smoke and drink, and don’t know why they are doing it, or what it can do to them. Finally, the very lethal combination of the growing peer pressure, the lure of being branded “most popular”, “sexy”, “cool” etc., the over-exposure to media, celebrityhood and fame, weaker family ties / staying away from home, and addictions (smoke, drink, drugs, sex) make these girls easy prey… to anybody and everybody.

Are we prepared for this fallout?

Part I of this topic stops here (yes, I’m not finished yet ;)). I hope that, as I’ve used this space as a vent for my thoughts on this subject, I have also provided some fodder for thought for all those reading this space :).

Tagged!

Well, well, well. The inevitable has happened. I’ve finally been tagged!. In fact, its been sometime that I’ve been tagged, but I couldn’t get around to it till today because I was busy all of last week.

So here is the standardised output:

I am thinking about…

• How to find time between work and other chores, to write posts on everything I’m thinking about these days (Trust me, there are a lot many ideas festering in my brain).
• Buying a laptop before this year ends… I’m not an impulsive buyer btw. I usually do lots of research and buy something only when I’m completely convinced that I need it, and I will have total use for it. What motivates me to do the research, thinking and mulling over the idea of buying, is the need to never regret a decision I’ve made. I positively hate to do things and then spend the rest of my life regretting (life is too precious, you see). And I also believe that once the action is done, there is usually no “Undo” button in life, so having that extra thought never hurts. This ideology has stood me in good stead over the years, and I sleep pretty well in the nights, so I guess its my mantra for a good life. I’ve ventured out and away from the initial topic (as usual), so coming back to the laptop -I need to have a good look at features and price et al - once I’m done, I’ll know whether I’ll actually be buying one soon or not. Right now, it looks like I will be buying one
• How to stop procrastinating and get my driving license and finish that task in my ToDo list asap.

I want to…

• Be of some use to the society. I’ve been contemplating things that I could do as a person, to help make a difference, and children seem to be the cause that’s closest to my heart. It tears my heart apart to think of children in distress; orphaned, made to beg, sexually exploited, physically exploited… and even if I can’t make a difference to all of them, I’d like to do something in the near future, that would help atleast a single child. I would also like to remind all of you reading this, that if each one of us think of helping a single child, we can go a long way in securing the future of our country and our world, and making this a better place to live in.
• Become more fit [Typical bane of any software engineer -> long hours at the workstation + no exercise = bad back, no stamina, unfit body]. I’m dabbling in a bit of yoga, but I need to make more concerted efforts, so that I don’t end up with a whole host of lifetstyle-related-diseases in middle age.

I wish…

• I could remember to be silent more often and learn to hear the voice of God.

I hear…

• Music. If I’m not actually listening to music on Radio City/Radio Mirchi/Radio One/Rainbow FM (yes, yes, those are the main FM radio channels in Bangalore) or on my PC, then there’s always some song playing out in my head (amazingly in great detail - even the background music, interludes, bass etc are adjusted to be exactly the same as the actual song :)). Music is my lifeline. As soon as I step out of my house, I plug in my earphones and there starts my sojourn with Bangalore’s FM channels. The radio is switched off after I’m seated at my workstation, but the earphones don’t come out - the plug is pulled out from my walkman and pushed into my PC’s earphone outlet. And then when I’m going home, radio is my companion - in fact, Bangalore’s much-publicised traffic woes never really get to me :).

I wonder…

• about the complex patterns of humans, their behaviour, their physical attributes, and their peculiarities.
• that if creation on the earth is so beautiful, how magnificent the creator must be.

I regret…

• Nothing. See my entry in “I’m thinking about…”.
• I understand that regret is inevitable at times, because you can always not do the right thing. But I still think its better to understand, accept your mistakes and move on in life, rather than to spend it regretting. Regret is a powerful way of degeneration. With each moment spent regretting, you’re losing a moment that you can use to make a difference, to make a change.
• It takes a strong effort, but believe me: for every new decision you take, spend a minute thinking whether you’ll be regretting it ever. If you think you will, stop and consider. Always make the decision knowing that you won’t regret. This is not equivalent to doing the right thing. You may still take the wrong or right path, but not regretting the path you’ve taken makes all the difference.

I am…

• a Sagi-Scorpio combination.
• Outward, I am the typical Sagittarius, which is my sun sign. Clumsy, likely to put her foot in her mouth most of the time, childlike, enthusiastic, broadminded, optimistic, procrastinating. I epitomize the archer aiming the arrow at the sun.
• My moon sign is Scorpio, which makes me a little brooding inside, emotionally complex, inclined to mystery and magic, determined, a little vengeful and intolerant at times.

I dance…

• When I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m angry, and when I’m stressed-out. If music is my lifeline, dancing is my passion. If I am not dancing myself, I choreograph :). Most of the time when I listen to music while travelling on the office bus, I visualize groups of dancers on stage, dancing to the tune of the song I’m listening to, and I think of elaborate choreography routines… [Hmmm... I wonder if I sound like a wierdo *blush*]

I sing…

• Whilst taking a bath, when I’m cooking, when there’s no one in the house and I want to hear my sound echoing off the walls… I used to sing more often as a child, and have performed number of times on stage in school, and in college too. But Bangalore and its cold climate usually gifts me a blocked nose or a sore throat, so public singing is ruled out since my vocal condition isn’t always reliable.

I cry…

• After a particularly damaging verbal argument. Almost always after an argument, esp. with my mum/dad. Arguments always leave me feeling guilty about the things I said, and my irritation/anger at myself gives way to tears. My mother has started calling me a softy nowadays.
• When I watch emotional scenes in movies/hard-hitting documentaries. Yes, I’m ashamed at myself at times, but I admit. I’m the one in the theatre, who’ll be watching a particularly heart rending scene, and holding her hand near her face (so that the people next to her don’t see the streaks of tears on the cheeks) and then with a casual flick of the finger, wiping the tear drop that’s threatening to fall and divulge her secret. When I’m alone at home, and am watching a sob story, I feel the odd pain in my heart (which always precedes the tears), and then the tears are running down my face in copious volumes, and I’m crying away to glory… then of course, I don’t bother to hide.
• Just as a note, I think crying cleans my inner self and makes me more aware of my soul.

I am not always…

• able to understand my own motives for certain actions/decisions, or some of my emotions. I guess life is a learning process, and as you learn about other people, you also learn a lot about yourself through them, and through your actions. If you think you know yourself completely, please think again… Most of the time, what we think we know about ourself is usually something we would like us to be, not necessarily what we already are. Always think twice before judging someone else, because you never really know/can predict what you’ll do in their situation, and you can end up doing something you once condemned. This has been by far, the biggest lesson in my life, and I’m glad I’ve understood it already.

I make with my hands…

• Roses out of clay. I love moulding clay to form the shape of roses and other interesting stuff. Once, for a science project (in 8th standard I guess), I fashioned tree trunks out of clay. The project was about environmental pollution, and we won first prize by the way :).
• Dance mudras (symbolic gestures).
• Knitting (I have learnt knitting, and like it very much, but I don’t know how to make useful material like sweaters). Strangely, I don’t like stitching much.
• Food. I love watching cookery shows, but am not a particularly experienced cook - because I don’t like cooking on a day-to-day basis, and also because as a bachelor girl, I can indulge and laze around, and cook only maggi/cornflakes/eat bread for survival. BTW, I said I may not be an experienced cook, but I didn’t say I’m a bad one. I do cook irregularly, and usually the food comes out okay, so I guess I can survive without burning the kitchen down, or having people admitted in the hospital.
• Drawings (on paper, on Microsoft Paint and in Adobe Photoshop).

I write…

• My blog (this one was easy wasn’t it? :))
• Official documentation for my project - concept manuals, functional specs, design specs, make presentations, excel sheets for quality analysis and estimation, training material… yes, the works.
• I also scribble during meetings. My hand is constantly at work, and I have scores of paper lying around with scribbles, doodles, and drawings - all output from my meetings.

I confuse…

• People by talking too much about a particular topic. I have a very logical approach to thinking so I inevitably try to convince by saying things that may be like A = B and B= C so naturally A = C. But the problem with logical thinking is that it should be brief. My problem is that I have lots of information, so when I use all of it to convey some idea/solution, my listeners are initially always confused. Then I have to repeat and structure the information bit by bit till I finally convince and people agree… Yes, I’ve confused you too, haven’t I?

I need… (in no particular order)

• Love.
• Fresh air, water, food, clothes and a home to live in.
• Emotional security.
• Money.
• Work. I love working. Work makes me complete. Work provides the structure in my life. Although I do have Monday blues, and sometimes a dislike for routine, I would be incapacitated if there was no work.
• Challenges. Life is a challenge, and even though there are hardships, I realize that we become powerful by overcoming each challenge. I’m constantly inspired by people who try to make the most of what they have, and often overcome debilitating challenges to find more meaning in and to life itself. I thank God for not making my life a cake-walk, or else, I would have become a lazy, useless piece of s**t.

And finally…

• I love life.
• And I tag my friends and everyone who reads this post, who hasn’t been tagged yet and has a blog, so that they can spare some time for introspection, clear the clouds in their thoughts, and hopefully make new discoveries about themselves.
• I enjoyed being tagged :). Thank you, Visitor.

Rain

I love the rain. It is truly the most beautiful and sublime act of nature (if we ignore its capacity for destruction).

Some of my most vivid sensations are of the rain; I love

• the smell that emanates from dry earth, when the first drops of rain fall on it…
• the feel of wet grass after a sudden shower…
• the sound of the rain, pitter-patter on the ground…
• the sight of rain drops trickling from the roof and car windows…
• cupping my hands to form a pool of rain, and wiping my face with the water…
• turning my face towards the sky, and feeling the drops fall on my face…
• the freshness in the atmosphere and the earth after the rains…
• fresh silvery green color of trees, dewy drops on leaves and flowers, puddles on the ground that go splash…

A lot many of my fond memories of life are also of the rains. I remember going to school on a Thursday many many years ago… it had been pouring non-stop for many days and I was waiting for the school bus at a bus stop which was about 10 minutes walking distance away from my home. The bus failed to turn up, and someone then came and told me that there wasn’t any school that day (the school had been partially flooded); so I started walking back home in my school uniform. It was pouring cats and dogs, and there was water on the road a little above my ankles - I was so exhilarated with the feel and sound of the rain, (and the thought that I didn’t have to go to school ;)) that I closed the umbrella, started singing my favorite songs and splashing around in the water, while walking back home - the people on the road must have thought that I was mad but I had not a care in the world…

Then again, during my college days, it was the day of my computer practical exam. I was walking to the bus stop, again with an umbrella since it was raining, and mid-way I realized that there was thigh-deep water in a huge stretch of the road that I had to go across. I continued walking, and slowly the water level rose till I was almost wading in the water, and my kameez was half-drenched. There weren’t many people on the road and most of them were standing in shops lining the side of the road… some of them called out to me telling me not to go on the road since it wasn’t safe… but I was having fun holding on to an umbrella and walking in the middle of the road (or rather, in the middle of the mini-flood) as if I owned it :D. Thankfully the water wasn’t all that dirty (unlike how it would be in Bangalore, say), so emerging out of the road, I was still fit to go to college and attend the exam.

Another very beautiful memory of the rain was when I went to Bombay/Mumbai once, during the monsoon season. I went to the Juhu beach, and as soon as I stepped into the water, it started raining like crazy… and soon, there we all were, being showered with cold water from the sky, whilst being waist-deep in the warm water of the sea, and having the tide throw us around in the water… heavenly :).

Coming back to my post, why am I talking of rain now? Well, it is monsoon season in India now, and I’m feeling privileged to witness this miracle called rain.

Rain in Kerala is a beauty to behold - transports you to a completely different world altogether. I’ve often felt that if there is heaven on earth, it must be in some parts of Kerala during the rains. Below are some pictures (courtesy Manorama and Tata world) that may justify my statement :

Lyrical Love

 

Love is an endearing emotion. Its seeds are sown young and sometimes we spend our entire lives in pursuit of the eternal love that we may probably never get on earth.

What makes love totally paradoxical is that the more we love, the more we want to possess, but the more we try to possess, the more love escapes from us.

By its very nature love is pure, divine and free. Its the acme of all emotions on this earth, and a riddle for anyone who’s been in its midst. Poets wax eloquently about love; yet no poetry fully characterizes it.

Recently I came across a site that had English translations of popular Hindi songs, and I realized that some of our Indian film lyricists did really try to infuse poetry in their songs, and most of the beautiful lyrics came from songs about love.

I then thought I’d blog about some Indian love ballads and their translations as a precursor to better poetry in film songs, and many more beautiful love songs to come, and as a tribute to this wonderful emotion called love…

Song	Translation
Film: Gangster Language: Hindi Lyricist: Sayeed Quadri Tu hi meri shab he, subah he, tu hi din he mera. tu hi mera rab he, jahaan he, tu hi meri duniya… Tu waqt, mere liye, mein hoon tera lamha, kaisa rahega bhala, hoke tu mujhse juda…	You are my night, my dawn you are my day. you are my god, my universe, you are my world... To me, you are time and I'm every moment for you. How can you ever live apart from me...
Film: Ayudha Ezhuthu Language: Tamil Lyricist: Vairamuthu Yakkai thiri Kaadhal sudar Jeevan nadhi Kaadhal kadal Piravi pizhai Kaadhal thirutham Irudhayam kal Kaadhal sirpam Jenmam vidhai Kaadhal pazham Lokam dwaitham Kaadhal advaitham Sarvam soonyam Kaadhal pinnyam Maanudam maayam Kaadhal amaram.	Body is a wick Love is the flame Soul is a river Love is the sea Birth is a mistake Love is the correction Heart is of stone Love is the sculpture Birth is a seed Love is the fruit The world is dual, Love is singular Everything(sarvam) is zero(soonyam) Love is infinite Life is an illusion Love is immortal.
Film: Summer in Bethlehem Language: Malayalam Lyricist: Gireesh Puthenchery Oru raathri koodi vidavaangave, Oru paattu mooli veyil veezhave, Pathiya parannen arikil varum, azhakinte thoovalaanunee. palanaalalanjamaru yaathrayil, hridayam thiranja priya swapname, mizhikalkku munpil ithalaarnu nee, viriyaanorungi nilkayo pularaan thudangum oru raathriyil, thaniye kidannu mizhivaangave, oru nertha thennal alivodevannu nerukil thalodi maanjuvo… malarmanju veena vana veedhiyil, idayante paattu kaathorkave, oru paazhkinaavil urukumnoren, manassinte paattu kettuvo… nizhal veezhum ente idanaazhiyil, kanivode poottha mani deepame, oru kunju kaattil anayaathenin, thirinaalam ennum kaathidaam.	As one more night bids adieu, and the sunlight falls whilst humming a song, You are the feather of beauty that wafts and settles next to me... In my travels that have gone on for many days, oh dear dream that has sought my heart, are you, draped in petals, waiting to blossom in my eyes? As the night was giving way to dawn, and I lay alone, with my eyes open, A breeze came with love, and disappeared after caressing my forehead... On a path in the forest decked with mist, as you're straining your ears to listen to the shepherd's song, did you hear the song emanating from my mind which is melting in a futile dream... In my corridor which is filled with shadows, You are the lamp that has flowered with mercy, Forever, I will protect you from every breeze that tries to blow your light out.

These are of course just a selection of three different songs from Hindi, Tamil and Malayalam… I got the lyrics for the Hindi and Tamil from other websites, but the Malayalam song translation is solely mine [I think it may be a bit crude here and there, but then this was all I could come up with in the short duration of time I had to write the post].

There are thousands of Indian film songs written on love, and some are sheer classics in terms of their poetic excellence… all written and inspired by the most beautiful emotion in this world: Love. 

Uniqueness

Recently I happened to read some part of a talk given by Mr.Narayana Murthy, and linked it with something told to me by a top manager in my organization. Put together, it gave me some thoughts to ponder on, early today morning…

Here’s the gist of Mr.Murthy’s talk:

A team put together to execute any good idea should have members whose skills are mutually exclusive and at the same time is collectively exhaustive.

This is what the manager (in my organization) had to say:

If you are managing a team, and you have in your team a person who can do exactly the same work as you, then either of you is redundant.

Both are quite thought-provoking. In fact, the second one applies not just to managers, but to every team member. I believe that within a team, each team member should ideally contribute in his/her unique way, to his/her fullest capability. And no team member is an ideal and complete substitute for another; If he/she is, then that obviously means that at a time, only one of them is needed, and the other is a redundant resource.

Sometimes, I think the need for creativity and uniqueness in work, gets lost, as we scamper behind business, money and marketing. The need for each individual in a team to be a “unique contributor” is often undermined (Of course, needless to say that the unique contribution should be valuable and something that could make a difference), and people work mindlessly on tasks assigned to them, without putting their stamp of individuality on it.

Very often during our technical meetings in office, I have always been amazed at how each problem/solution evokes different responses from different people. While I have a very methodical approach to problems, and can chart out available aspects like jigsaw pieces and sew them together in my mind, another colleague of mine has an “attack” approach. He doesn’t try to spread out the existing information on the problem, but instead sees angles about it that the rest of us might not even have thought about, and attacks the problem by asking questions on those angles. And although some questions of his may not be relevant/may have an answer that a person like me can provide, there are always some questions of his which open up new dimensions that may not have been apparent till then. The approach he possesses is something which I can never gain completely, because it comes naturally to him, and is part of his own uniqueness. Similarly, I’ve often found that most people cannot chart out problems, and be able to visualize pieces of the puzzle falling together to form a solution as I can. And that is probably part of my uniqueness. Individually, my colleague and I contribute effectively to a team and are mutually exclusive, since neither can cultivate the other’s expertise.

It is important to know your area of expertise, know what your strengths are, and learn to polish and utilize them, to the best of one’s ability. It is equally important to recognize someone else’s strengths, and encourage them to polish it for effective utilization within a team. I believe the first is for any team member, and the second for any manager.

When, within a team, each member contributes in the way he/she knows best as an individual, works well with peer strategies and learns to interpret/bring out creative ideas, and when the manager of the team knows how to moderate within the team, utilize each individual according to their uniqueness while contributing with his/her experience and ideas, we have the ideal team environment.

I’ve stressed this out as the “ideal” team environment because in the real-world, concepts of “ideal” and “perfect” are relative, and never completely achievable. However, I do believe they are not impossible and can be achieved to some extent of perfection.

Strategies implemented at the individual level, extend to a team, which then extends to groups of teams and finally extends out to the entire organization - this directly implies that implementing strategies on an individual level can be finally extended to become a process for an organization, and with established processes, you get repeated success. And with the right kind of management models, correct and repetitive efforts and the right influences, successful teams coming out with creative,innovative ideas, and effective solutions to most problems, is no longer a dream.

The bottomline however is the individual. We must remember to be identify and utilize our uniqueness to the best of our ability. This also means putting in the right amount of hard work and being dedicated enough to ensure that everything you do has your individual stamp on it. Shun mediocrity, and start evaluating your own contribution to each moment you live in this world - it vindicates our run for the known parameters of success (money, fame) and makes every reward well-deserved. And more than applause or materialistic rewards, I think creativity/uniqueness comes with its own kind of reward - self satisfaction. There’s never a bigger reward than the satisfaction in a job well done.