Tagged!

Well, well, well. The inevitable has happened. I’ve finally been tagged!. In fact, its been sometime that I’ve been tagged, but I couldn’t get around to it till today because I was busy all of last week.

So here is the standardised output:

I am thinking about…

• How to find time between work and other chores, to write posts on everything I’m thinking about these days (Trust me, there are a lot many ideas festering in my brain).
• Buying a laptop before this year ends… I’m not an impulsive buyer btw. I usually do lots of research and buy something only when I’m completely convinced that I need it, and I will have total use for it. What motivates me to do the research, thinking and mulling over the idea of buying, is the need to never regret a decision I’ve made. I positively hate to do things and then spend the rest of my life regretting (life is too precious, you see). And I also believe that once the action is done, there is usually no “Undo” button in life, so having that extra thought never hurts. This ideology has stood me in good stead over the years, and I sleep pretty well in the nights, so I guess its my mantra for a good life. I’ve ventured out and away from the initial topic (as usual), so coming back to the laptop -I need to have a good look at features and price et al - once I’m done, I’ll know whether I’ll actually be buying one soon or not. Right now, it looks like I will be buying one
• How to stop procrastinating and get my driving license and finish that task in my ToDo list asap.

I want to…

• Be of some use to the society. I’ve been contemplating things that I could do as a person, to help make a difference, and children seem to be the cause that’s closest to my heart. It tears my heart apart to think of children in distress; orphaned, made to beg, sexually exploited, physically exploited… and even if I can’t make a difference to all of them, I’d like to do something in the near future, that would help atleast a single child. I would also like to remind all of you reading this, that if each one of us think of helping a single child, we can go a long way in securing the future of our country and our world, and making this a better place to live in.
• Become more fit [Typical bane of any software engineer -> long hours at the workstation + no exercise = bad back, no stamina, unfit body]. I’m dabbling in a bit of yoga, but I need to make more concerted efforts, so that I don’t end up with a whole host of lifetstyle-related-diseases in middle age.

I wish…

• I could remember to be silent more often and learn to hear the voice of God.

I hear…

• Music. If I’m not actually listening to music on Radio City/Radio Mirchi/Radio One/Rainbow FM (yes, yes, those are the main FM radio channels in Bangalore) or on my PC, then there’s always some song playing out in my head (amazingly in great detail – even the background music, interludes, bass etc are adjusted to be exactly the same as the actual song ). Music is my lifeline. As soon as I step out of my house, I plug in my earphones and there starts my sojourn with Bangalore’s FM channels. The radio is switched off after I’m seated at my workstation, but the earphones don’t come out – the plug is pulled out from my walkman and pushed into my PC’s earphone outlet. And then when I’m going home, radio is my companion – in fact, Bangalore’s much-publicised traffic woes never really get to me .

I wonder…

• about the complex patterns of humans, their behaviour, their physical attributes, and their peculiarities.
• that if creation on the earth is so beautiful, how magnificent the creator must be.

I regret…

• Nothing. See my entry in “I’m thinking about…”.
• I understand that regret is inevitable at times, because you can always not do the right thing. But I still think its better to understand, accept your mistakes and move on in life, rather than to spend it regretting. Regret is a powerful way of degeneration. With each moment spent regretting, you’re losing a moment that you can use to make a difference, to make a change.
• It takes a strong effort, but believe me: for every new decision you take, spend a minute thinking whether you’ll be regretting it ever. If you think you will, stop and consider. Always make the decision knowing that you won’t regret. This is not equivalent to doing the right thing. You may still take the wrong or right path, but not regretting the path you’ve taken makes all the difference.

I am…

• a Sagi-Scorpio combination.
• Outward, I am the typical Sagittarius, which is my sun sign. Clumsy, likely to put her foot in her mouth most of the time, childlike, enthusiastic, broadminded, optimistic, procrastinating. I epitomize the archer aiming the arrow at the sun.
• My moon sign is Scorpio, which makes me a little brooding inside, emotionally complex, inclined to mystery and magic, determined, a little vengeful and intolerant at times.

I dance…

• When I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m angry, and when I’m stressed-out. If music is my lifeline, dancing is my passion. If I am not dancing myself, I choreograph . Most of the time when I listen to music while travelling on the office bus, I visualize groups of dancers on stage, dancing to the tune of the song I’m listening to, and I think of elaborate choreography routines… [Hmmm... I wonder if I sound like a wierdo *blush*]

I sing…

• Whilst taking a bath, when I’m cooking, when there’s no one in the house and I want to hear my sound echoing off the walls… I used to sing more often as a child, and have performed number of times on stage in school, and in college too. But Bangalore and its cold climate usually gifts me a blocked nose or a sore throat, so public singing is ruled out since my vocal condition isn’t always reliable.

I cry…

• After a particularly damaging verbal argument. Almost always after an argument, esp. with my mum/dad. Arguments always leave me feeling guilty about the things I said, and my irritation/anger at myself gives way to tears. My mother has started calling me a softy nowadays.
• When I watch emotional scenes in movies/hard-hitting documentaries. Yes, I’m ashamed at myself at times, but I admit. I’m the one in the theatre, who’ll be watching a particularly heart rending scene, and holding her hand near her face (so that the people next to her don’t see the streaks of tears on the cheeks) and then with a casual flick of the finger, wiping the tear drop that’s threatening to fall and divulge her secret. When I’m alone at home, and am watching a sob story, I feel the odd pain in my heart (which always precedes the tears), and then the tears are running down my face in copious volumes, and I’m crying away to glory… then of course, I don’t bother to hide.
• Just as a note, I think crying cleans my inner self and makes me more aware of my soul.

I am not always…

• able to understand my own motives for certain actions/decisions, or some of my emotions. I guess life is a learning process, and as you learn about other people, you also learn a lot about yourself through them, and through your actions. If you think you know yourself completely, please think again… Most of the time, what we think we know about ourself is usually something we would like us to be, not necessarily what we already are. Always think twice before judging someone else, because you never really know/can predict what you’ll do in their situation, and you can end up doing something you once condemned. This has been by far, the biggest lesson in my life, and I’m glad I’ve understood it already.

I make with my hands…

• Roses out of clay. I love moulding clay to form the shape of roses and other interesting stuff. Once, for a science project (in 8th standard I guess), I fashioned tree trunks out of clay. The project was about environmental pollution, and we won first prize by the way .
• Dance mudras (symbolic gestures).
• Knitting (I have learnt knitting, and like it very much, but I don’t know how to make useful material like sweaters). Strangely, I don’t like stitching much.
• Food. I love watching cookery shows, but am not a particularly experienced cook – because I don’t like cooking on a day-to-day basis, and also because as a bachelor girl, I can indulge and laze around, and cook only maggi/cornflakes/eat bread for survival. BTW, I said I may not be an experienced cook, but I didn’t say I’m a bad one. I do cook irregularly, and usually the food comes out okay, so I guess I can survive without burning the kitchen down, or having people admitted in the hospital.
• Drawings (on paper, on Microsoft Paint and in Adobe Photoshop).

I write…

• My blog (this one was easy wasn’t it? )
• Official documentation for my project – concept manuals, functional specs, design specs, make presentations, excel sheets for quality analysis and estimation, training material… yes, the works.
• I also scribble during meetings. My hand is constantly at work, and I have scores of paper lying around with scribbles, doodles, and drawings – all output from my meetings.

I confuse…

• People by talking too much about a particular topic. I have a very logical approach to thinking so I inevitably try to convince by saying things that may be like A = B and B= C so naturally A = C. But the problem with logical thinking is that it should be brief. My problem is that I have lots of information, so when I use all of it to convey some idea/solution, my listeners are initially always confused. Then I have to repeat and structure the information bit by bit till I finally convince and people agree… Yes, I’ve confused you too, haven’t I?

I need… (in no particular order)

• Love.
• Fresh air, water, food, clothes and a home to live in.
• Emotional security.
• Money.
• Work. I love working. Work makes me complete. Work provides the structure in my life. Although I do have Monday blues, and sometimes a dislike for routine, I would be incapacitated if there was no work.
• Challenges. Life is a challenge, and even though there are hardships, I realize that we become powerful by overcoming each challenge. I’m constantly inspired by people who try to make the most of what they have, and often overcome debilitating challenges to find more meaning in and to life itself. I thank God for not making my life a cake-walk, or else, I would have become a lazy, useless piece of s**t.

And finally…

• I love life.
• And I tag my friends and everyone who reads this post, who hasn’t been tagged yet and has a blog, so that they can spare some time for introspection, clear the clouds in their thoughts, and hopefully make new discoveries about themselves.
• I enjoyed being tagged . Thank you, Visitor.